and time is still ticking...

It was March when I saw him again. It was just for a few days. Yet, once again I was selfishly eating up time with him. It was so limited. It was as though he had just arrived and he was leaving so soon. Something was different when he left my house. I felt as though I lost something special. I would never have those moments again. We talked but even that was limited. I was very often ending my day when his was just beginning. I sent text messages and left voice messages. Sometimes they went unanswered. I admit that it started to play on my insecurities (yeah, I still have them). March slowly turned to April, and soon it was May. The pattern of phone calls continued however, by the end of May I began to wrestle with may be "it" wasn't what I perceived it to be. After all, there was no real discussion of a relationship--only "how do I get to know you better." Not exactly saying "be my lady". Still the rush after talking to him still left me wanting.
It's now mid-June and I have resolved that although I don't really know it doesn't steal from the feeling. I'm hopeful that nothing has changed and that work is consuming his time. If not, then although I love him it's also time to leave it be. It makes about as much sense as other wackiness in my world. I won't discount any of it because there is a greater lesson I have learned about myself. Sure I'd love for Anthony to return and we pick up where we left off but if he doesn't or my perception is different from his--it will still feel as if I gained something precious anyway. For that I can't be sorry for having taken the chance.